She held herself until the sobs of the child inside subsided entirely. I love you, she told herself. It will all be okay.~ H. Raven Rose, Shadow Selves : Double Happiness.
As children, we were very fragile. We got hurt. A harsh look from our father could dampen our spirit. A strong word from our mother could cause a wound in our hearts. As young children, we have a lot of feelings, but it’s difficult to express ourselves.
Sometimes, even if we found the words, the adults around us can’t hear us, don’t listen, or won’t allow us to talk.
Signs of a Wounded Inner Child :
If you nodded “Yes” to most traits mentioned, then you are at the right place. Let me start by explaining the term “Inner Child.” A metaphor for the “Little You.” Our dormant psyche, a vital part of our totality. That’s free, creative & impulsive with no fear of the outcome.
As life moved on, we developed into adults. Our inner child grew less obvious & took a backseat to our adolescence & later, our adulthood.
We pushed this aspect of ours into the darkest corner of our subconscious to be the more “Serious Adults.” But, we still have that child sleeping within us. At times, we sense ’em crying out for our attention, awaiting our acceptance and love.
My Little Story, to Share :
It was a difficult childhood. Suppressing myself to fit in, avoiding constant bullying. I wished I prayed. I could escape through a magical portal like The Chronicles of Narnia movie. Discovering a whole new world without judgment in a wardrobe.
Scared. Perplexed. Breaking down into tears during social situations. I felt unworthy. Always revising dialogues in my head for hours, for every occasion. Ruling out all possibilities of embarrassment. I was desperate & wanted to fit in.
What if they don’t like me? What if I am not good enough? What if I fail? These questions haunted me. I was hard on myself. Biased, affected by those who didn’t matter. I knew I had to heal. It wasn’t a choice. It was a necessity if I coveted growth.
My Aha! Moment was when I realized that my biggest challenges weren’t superficial but emerging from my embedded fears. Prompting me into reconnecting with my dormant psyche, my inner child. To find the root cause of these insecurities.
We all have neglected that child within for a long time & it’s time that we return and comfort, love, and care for that child to find the true us. Though we suppressed that child within, those basic needs of the child remain. But, most adults quite unaware of this, lack conscious relatedness to their inner child. This is precisely where behavioural, emotional & relationship difficulties stem from.
Inner Child Work is a powerful tool for addressing these concerns. Aiding in reconnecting & healing our authentic selves. While teaching us healthy ways to re-parent our wounded inner child. Providing tools and resources to install corrective experiences.
Through this integration process, we gain access to our unhealed wounds & the needs, neglected as a child. And, re-parenting becomes a process of tending to those wounds. Addressing those needs, so we could function as healthy individuals in society.
How to Connect with Your Inner Child ?
- Tell her, you love her & she is valued in your life
- You are sorry for the past, she didn’t deserve it, and you will protect her forever
- You are proud of her, and there is nothing wrong with her
- She has a home in your heart that she will never have to leave & is safe with you
- She is a beautiful being of light and always unique to you
- Tell her she will never feel lonely again because you are always there for her
- Thank her for not giving up & supporting you through the up-and-down of life
- Listen. Accept her feelings & don’t react to what comes up. Be patient with her
- Untie the shackles of self-imposed restrictions & let your inner child bloom. Do what makes you happy without stressing on the outcome
Once we shake hands with our inner child, our enlightened buddy can support us in our self-integration process. Releasing all that’s not serving us anymore. She can help us heal and deepen our self-awareness.
Real maturity is acknowledging, accepting and taking responsibility for our inner child, through loving and compassionate re-parenting. This can liberate us and allow us to live a life of real adulthood, emotional balance, and well-being. It’s never late. Now is the time.
The magic of childhood ! When seen through the eyes of a child, the world abounds with joyful and amazing moments. Get in touch with that bright outlook that still lives within you.~ Fairy Tarot by Radleigh Valentine
Wishing you lots of luck with your new found friendship.